Fed up with mom guilt? Here’s how to banish unhelpful thoughts

• No initial bond with baby 

It can take weeks—or months—to feel an attachment with your newborn. Try not to feel guilty or anxious. It will happen naturally over time. Enjoy skin-to-skin contact with your baby and baby massage. Singing and gently rocking your newborn can help too.  

• Quilt feeling for not to breastfeed 

You may experience so much guilt when it comes to stopping breastfeeding, or feeling like a failure if you cannot breastfeed your baby. Consult the lactation specialist to seek help on breastfeeding. If you need to partially supplement the milk feed, or decide to cease breastfeeding for medical reasons, do not feel guilty. With consultation of your doctor, you can make the right decision to continue to provide the most appropriate feeding. 

• Working mom guilt 

Juggling your work and home life is tough for every new mom, so it’s common to feel guilty. When looking at daycare options, trust your mom intuition and choose the right one for both you and your baby. Share all household chores with your partner or ask for help from family and friends. That way, when you do get home, you can enjoy cuddles and bath time rather than running around trying to be superwoman. Read our tips on going back to work after having baby to help you get the balance right.

• Self-care for new moms  

We’ll let you in on a secret: it’s OK if you’re thinking “I need a break from being a mom!” Take some time for yourself. You’re not being selfish if you sometimes choose yourself over your baby. Exercise, spend time with friends and set aside some time for just you and your partner. If you’re feeling rested and less stressed, that makes for a happier, more energized you. You’ll be raring to go! 

• The perfect mom myth 

Let’s get this straight: there’s no such thing as the perfect mom. Sure, you’ll make plans while pregnant, and daydream about what having a baby and being a new mom will be like. But the reality is you can’t prepare. Every new mom struggles so don’t feel guilty about not living up to your own expectations. Let go of the Insta-perfect family lie and you’ll feel a whole lot better. Promise.  

Sources:

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/infant-and-young-child-feeding (Accessed July 2020)