Need some space? Here’s how to handle visitors after giving birth

• Set some ground rules

In terms of managing visitors after baby is born, be clear on the ground rules before your baby arrives to manage well-wishers’ expectations. You’ll need time to adjust to becoming new parents and get to know your new arrival. Say you won’t be wanting visitors for a set period of time—whatever period works with you and your partner. People can then come to terms with that and respect your wishes.

• Say no to surprise baby visitors

Make it clear to family and friends that you want no surprise home visitors after your baby is born. Everyone can plan with you when they come or give you a call first. That way, you’re not feeling stressed or overwhelmed and you can plan baby visitors around times that work for you.

• Only invite positive people

You’re going to be feeling overwhelmed by all the changes of becoming a new mom or dad. What you don’t need is any negativity, so don’t be afraid to be selective in who you have round to visit your baby. You don’t want to be feeling judged as a parent, so make sure you veto any trips from people who may make you feel bad. Nobody needs unwanted, unhelpful comments that the house is a mess! See here for a handy checklist of new mom emotions that are also entirely normal.

• Accept offers of help

Here’s how to help a new mom or dad! If family and friends are desperate to help you out, don’t refuse their kind offers. Use it to your advantage and delegate tasks you just simply don’t have time for at the moment. Ask them to clean your house, cook some meals, or even run to the grocery store for you.

• Be prepared for unwanted parenting advice

Along with unwanted visitors, unwanted parenting advice—whether that’s from strangers in public, friends, or family—can be frustrating and confusing when you’re a new mom or dad. While everyone believes their advice and opinions are helpful, you may end up feeling judged as a parent, criticized and like you’re doing the wrong thing for your baby. The best response? “That may have been right for you, but we’re doing it like this.”